OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
