how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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