We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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