What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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