I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Your tits are I can't wait for
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
