I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
