But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
