Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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