I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
