Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
