Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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