wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
