Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
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YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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