sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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