Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
