Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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