Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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