Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
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And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize