im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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