Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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