We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
