u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
