yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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