bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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