Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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