the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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