he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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