Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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