I just cut my nipple shaving
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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