take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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