so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
