super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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