Say something about gay babies.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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