how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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