Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
