YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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