you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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