i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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