haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
