yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Buhtt sex?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize