Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
