My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I deserve this hangover.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
