We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
