I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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