they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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