Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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