Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
