He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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