...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
