Pappa wants mamma naked
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
