just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
