i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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