Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize