I must be too annoying 4 u.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
