would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
