There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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