we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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