he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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