and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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