im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
