it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
