You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
