okay pat passed out under dana's car
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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