Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
