Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Alive.
So much puke
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
